Relationships are complicated, and conflicts inevitably arise. If you’ve lost the magic you once had, perhaps it’s time to look in the mirror and honestly assess your behavior while your California marriage is still salvageable. Here are four behaviors that may lead to divorce if you allow them to continue unchecked.
Failure to communicate
Don’t assume that your spouse is a mind reader or is someone who can always correctly interpret your body language. Sometimes, you have to say the hard stuff. Keeping hurt feelings inside all the time only leads to resentment, and your partner may not know what you’re feeling. Talk to each other without being accusatory or defensive.
Withdrawal
If you’re the type that hates confrontation, you need to find a way to handle it. Disengaging from uncomfortable conversations helps no one. If your spouse is prone to yell, perhaps you can put your feelings down on paper and place the note on the kitchen table as you leave the house. That would allow your other half to digest the information and get their emotions under control before they discuss the issue with you.
Inability to compromise
Nobody deserves to get their way 100 percent of the time. If that is the case, your spouse may feel like they are not an active participant in the relationship and that if you don’t respect their suggestions, you don’t respect them.
Constant criticism
Constant criticism is enough to wear anybody down. If you are on the receiving end of it, speak up and request it to stop. If you are the guilty party, be very careful. These types of disparaging remarks are damaging. If the criticism turns into contempt, then you may be headed toward a divorce.
If you find yourself engaging in destructive behavior, you must take steps to turn things around if you want to save your relationship. Couples therapy might provide more productive ways of dealing with your marital problems and lead you to a more harmonious life.