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When a child chooses sides in divorce

On Behalf of | Dec 14, 2021 | Divorce

It is emotionally difficult to go through divorce in California for a whole host of reasons. One of the toughest things to handle is when a child appears to be taking sides. It is not unusual for a child to feel closer to one parent or the other, especially if they place blame for the divorce on one parent.

Divorces and children

Children are sensitive to the flow of emotions and stories that comes from divorce. It’s important not to put the kids in the middle of anything, blame them or make them feel like they are a conduit for conflict. Additionally, while you may feel that a child has chosen a side, that may also be an expression of their frustration; often, it is temporary.

Divorce proceedings are not easy on the kids, and there are a lot of ways for them to feel and express how they experience their parents’ split. Treating them with respect is a good idea, and it is also good to avoid complaining about the other spouse or the situation to them. That is only going to make them more frustrated and upset. When you see a child choosing sides, think of it not as a choice to pick a parent they love more but as a response to a difficult situation.

Keep the perspective that kids deal with divorce differently depending on how each parent reacts and what the circumstances are. Make it easy for them to understand what is happening and be transparent about the process. When both you and your former spouse agree to fully support and love your child, it can make it easier for them to feel like they don’t have to choose sides.