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Treat your divorce like a business deal: Set your emotions aside

Emotions are what make us human and they're also what make us suffer. Few people would give up having an emotional perspective on life, but sometimes it's important to set our fiery and toxic emotions aside.

In business, the best way to navigate a caustic negotiation is by looking at the facts and paying more objective attention to the numbers and the laws than to how you subjectively feel about them. People who do that often succeed in business. It may surprise you to learn that a divorce is no different.

Emotions are virtually guaranteed to run high during divorce

Whether you express them outwardly or inwardly, the emotions you feel during your divorce will likely be intense. It's important to recognize and experience these feelings. You may want to visit a counselor for help in processing them. However, when it comes to making decisions during your divorce, e.g., when you're sitting on the other side of the table from your spouse talking about child custody and asset division, you need to set these emotions aside.

But how do you do that? How do you stay calm when your spouse tells you he's keeping the family dog no matter what? How do you not get angry when your ex-wife says you'll only see the kids one afternoon a week?

An important way to keep your emotion in check

There's a lot of great divorce advice out there, but one piece of advice trumps them all — understand the law and have faith in your legal rights. When you do this, you'll have a better chance of viewing your divorce as a business process. For example, when you know that courts will — in nearly every circumstance — give preference to the primary caretaker of the children during a child custody dispute, you can rest easier knowing how your dispute will probably play out in court.

By understanding family law, you will know which battles are worth fighting and which ones to walk away from. It's not that you'll agree with how the law affects your situation, but you'll at least know where you stand. That's often sufficient to bring you a certain measure of peace of mind.

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