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Tips for deciding whether to postpone divorce for children

People in California might wonder whether they should postpone a divorce for the sake of their children. The answer to this depends upon the specific circumstances. Although their parents' divorce can be stressful for children, there are circumstances in which it may be the best choice.

In some cases, parents are unable to hide the conflict between them, and this can be stressful for children. If there is abuse, it is probably best for parents to divorce. Divorce might also be the best decision if parents simply cannot find a way to be happy together. None of these are healthy situations for children to be in. If parents have put time and effort into counseling without success, divorce may be the right decision.

However, parents should work at saving the relationship, and they should not give up on the marriage until they have exhausted this possibility. Parents should also think about the costs of splitting up. Some of these costs may be financial, but overall, the benefits of staying should be greater. Parents may want to stay in the relationship when they consider how the divorce could affect their children including increasing the likelihood that their children may, as adults, end up getting divorced as well. If parents do decide to stay together, they should make sure they are willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

After weighing these pros and cons, some parents may decide that it is best if they divorce. Parents can still work to help children adjust to the divorce. For example, they might want to share custody. They can create a clear parenting agreement that explains things such as which parent the children will spend holidays with or who is responsible for certain extracurricular activities. Parents can also work to have a strong co-parenting relationship and to protect their children from any conflict they may have with one another.

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