As someone in your 30s, you’ve been married long enough to assume that all is going well. You know your partner and have started a family. You have a good start on retirement and are moving up in your job.

When your partner decided it’s time for a divorce, you were surprised. Financially, everything seems good, and you thought you were both on the same page. Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

Divorcing in your 30s can seem like it’s at the worst time of your life, and in some ways it is. You’ve already started to accumulate wealth and assets, so it makes it more difficult to separate. Additionally, a divorce in your 30s can hurt your savings, retirement savings and separate a young family, which impacts your children.

Why does divorcing in your 30s lead to more problems?

It can lead to more problems because it’s common for debts to be high and assets to be held on loans. For instance, you may own a home, but if you still have a mortgage, it might be hard for one of you to take it over completely. In the end, selling the home might be the only option, which ends up costing both of you the asset you wanted in your name. If you still have student loans or credit-card debts, these can also make splitting up more difficult.

What should you do when you get a divorce in your 30s?

Be particularly careful of identifying your separate assets. Do what you can to work out your own budget, and don’t take on more debts than you can afford after the divorce. It’s a good idea to look into paying off debts and selling major assets if possible, since that will help both of you walk away with the most financial balance.